The shopping instinct in women
Everyone has one or more kinds of hobbies or passions. Every woman has her own individual hobbies. But one obsession is universal in all women and, that is, the love of shopping. Shopping is a passion for many and a hobby for almost the entire women on this planet.
In fact, women are almost crazy about shopping. But men, they almost dislike it. Why this is so, is difficult to say. Either they actually do not like the act of buying something all the time or they cannot tolerate spending their money without reason. More or less every couple must have slight trouble about shopping, because a wife loves it while her husband dislikes it; a wife loves going out while husband feels tired from work all day and wants to have a rest.
Perhaps, Allah has made females like this. It is in her nature that she loves shopping. It is believed that when women are depressed, they eat what they like or go shopping. Some men consider that the quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her, and to know her judgment in deciding about a purchase. Mostly women are indecisive while shopping. They never easily come to a conclusion about what to buy.
They go on admiring things, yet they fail to close the deal immediately. Women can go into a store with every intention of getting at least one item. But they see all the cute things lying around the store saying «buy me.» And they keep on buying just because they appears beautiful. How frustrating for the financially dependent women with penny-pinching partners who place stringent limits on their expenditures and shopping.
Most women desire to go shopping almost every day. Some women aimlessly roam around the market spending hours and hours leaving babies back home in the custody of the elders so as to escape the responsibility. Sometimes women tell their husbands they want to buy a dress. But what happens after reaching the market, inquires the poor husband who actually believed his wife’s words of just buying a dress….beginning with the dress, then matching jewelry, followed by matching sandals, followed by a matching purse ... an unending list…
Even after buying thousands of dresses, ornaments, sandals, etc. women will crave for more. ‘Discontentment’ is perhaps the word suitable for women. May be, since they do not own the responsibility the men have to run the family, they do not know the nuances of spending sensibly. But it is a human or a woman’s tendency to not be satisfied. Ladies will always grumble, “I have been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear.”
They are also complain about their husbands not caring about meeting their wishes. Poor souls! They work hard to please their wives but it only ends in disappointment. Some new items in the market always magnetize women. This new object can be something which is not even a necessity. But still ladies will go and purchase that just because some friends or neighbors bought it. Never mind if they never actually use it afterwards.
Women spend hours purchasing a single item; often after browsing from one shop to another for hours she will return without buying anything. Sometimes even she herself does not know what she really is in search of. Truly, ‘unpredictability’ characterizes a woman’s character. Retail is the dominion of women; they shop to purchase both essential and non-esstential goods, to relax and to socialize. Women account for over 80 percent of consumer spending, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. They are the major targets of companies worldwide to make things exist for them in the market. Women spend more than eight years of their lives shopping, says a study.
While keeping their families fed and clothed, and indulging in a little retail therapy, the average woman will shop for an astonishing 25,184 hours over a period of 63 years. Some women are so addicted to shopping that they do not even worry about burdening themselves with debt. Sometimes an working man runs a whole family effortlessly, but such an obsession is tricky for a working woman because of her excessive shopping. Sometimes, ladies are overwhelmed with a sense of guilt at having spent so much money, or having bought so many things that were really not needed, or at the idea that they have to explain to their husbands how they managed to blow through this much money in so little time and so on. In fact, shopping in itself is not bad but excessive in anything is not good either.
Whether it is shopping, eating, playing, reading or sleeping, extreme indulgence in something affects both our ways of perception and our personality. Obviously, too much of shopping and spending have negative influences on the whole family.
This is not only because of the wastage of money but also because of the consumption of precious time. Life at the moment is full of stresses and challenges that arise out of our immense love for material things and extravagant ways of life. We hardly try to seek the alternative, which is to follow the spirituality of Islam that brings with it an immense amount of peaceful bliss in life; rather we are lost in the neverending pleasurable cycles of experiences in the world.
The inspiring verses of the Glorious Koran are truly momentous, “And life of this world is nothing but deceptive pleasure.” (Sura Ali ‘Imran, ayah 185)
Islam teaches us neither to overindulge nor be miserly. It educates us to be careful in planning in life…whether it be shopping or any other meaningful activity.
Moreover, money recklessly spent in obsession only results in regret later on. The Holy Quran states, “And (the true servants of Allah are those) who, when spending, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but their spending follows a middle course, ever moderate.” (Sura AlFurqan, ayah 67)
The eternal message about our living on earth is to lead a life of balance and never allowing ourselves to be dictated by our Nafs in going to extremes. We need to maintain a rhythmical harmony of various social responsibilities. It is time women paid heed to this aspect of life, the ‘shopping instinct’ is one of her innate characteristics.
MARYAM HEDAYAT
