How to communicate with old parents?
It happens that our parent get older. But they are still the same dad and mom, who in childhood were the whole world for us. We always wanted to be near them and were very afraid that they would die.
Our dialogue with parents has always been a dialogue of generations. But we understand it only now. It is a fact, that good communication with parents sometimes requires considerable endurance.
However, the result is worth it: a warm relationship is a useful example for our children, and, finally, the reward of the Almighty, which is promised for getting along with one’s parents.
Key to a good relationship
However, how to get over childhood trauma inflicted by parents? In addition, what if the father or mother is a toxic person? Alas, there are frighteningly unhealthy families and deeply unhappy children. But, you see, these are pathologies, they cannot be the majority.
The great bulk of people are ordinary children of ordinary parents. And, thanks be to God, having matured, they try not to be angry at their fathers and mothers for their mistakes. After all, no one is safe from their own mistakes in the upbringing of their children.
As we grow, we get used to the leading role of our parents. And growing up and separating from them, we continue to preserve that image which we know from childhood. No matter what memories we have, mom and dad are always young and active in them.
However, time changes everyone. So the parents’ gait became heavy, and the memory worsens. But due to inertia, we do not notice that our mom and dad are almost old people now. Apparently, it is difficult to realize that the main people in our life are no longer our support. And now they need us more than we need them.
If we manage to accept age-related changes in our parents and forgive them for the shortcomings of the past, then harmony between us will grow stronger. This is a life support for them and for us.
Rules for good communication
When communicating with elderly parents, it is useful to take into account some of their features. For example:
1. Slowness
Now your parents move and think more slowly. If you have planned a visit with them to the doctor or to the house management, then plan to spend more time to do this.
It is also necessary to talk with parents in a more measured way. It is not always that they may lose their hearing, but that it may be difficult for them to speak quickly.
2. Repetition of the same questions
Your father and mother may ask something repeatedly not to annoy, but perhaps out of absent-mindedness. Therefore, answer them calmly, albeit if it is necessary to do this several times.
The same goes for life stories that parents like to repeat. Never interrupt them, instead let them remember.
3. Desire to keep up to date
Here it is necessary to define what to tell, and what to be silent about. This is not neglect, but to protect our parents from worries in those matters where they cannot help themselves.
However, saying nothing at all is not good either. After all, children, that is, you and I, are the main content of their current life. Therefore, talk to your parents about even your small victories.
4. The desire to share one’s experience
Weakening physically, our fathers and mothers retain their great life experience. Add here their parental love. And it will become clear that they both want to help us and do help us with their knowledge. And our attention really inspires them. Feel free to thank them for unsolicited advice.
Finally, do not tell people about the shortcomings and oddities of your parents, neither in the past nor in the present. Protect their honour, which is yours as well.
