10 dangerous parenting mistakes
The most difficult thing that parents face when raising children is choosing the right strategy. Many parents think that good parenting is limited to providing good food, nice clothes and paying to study at a prestigious institution, etc.
It is obvious that an enormous responsibility in raising the younger generation in the family lies on parents. However most of them show negligence and do not pay due attention to the spiritual side of education, as well as not trying to instill in their children a good character. Parents make these mistakes either because of their ignorance or due to inattention but sometimes this happens intentionally. As a result, many parents lose their children, literally and figuratively.
When such parents notice that their children have grown up to be naughty or they find deviant behavious in them, mother and father begin to complain and look for the guilty. They do not allow the thought that all the blame and responsibility lie on them. After all, this is primarily a consequence of their own omission.
In bringing up children some choose the method by which they were brought up themselves. But when applying this or that strategy, they do not pay attention to efficiency.
To be sure that they are raising full members of society of the future, parents must consider how to undertake the children’s education themselves and whether they will give it their all or not.
It is all about choosing and using effective strategies in raising children, but in this article, we would like to talk about what not to do in raising one’s child.
- One must not humiliate the child and blame him for every mistake. It is better to gently point out to him that he did something unacceptable, and, giving reasons, explain why this is bad and should be avoided.
- If a parent decides to reproach or chastise a child, one should not do this in front of his friends, classmates, etc. Instructions to the child must be done in private so that others, especially his friends, do not see this.
- Manifestation of excessive tenderness for the child, especially on the part of the mother, leads to dangerous consequences. Such a child grows up too timid, shy, withdrawn and unsure of himself.
- Do not even begin to consider that a child does not need to be brought up correctly from an early age. It is necessary to start education from birth. From a very early age, children should be guided on the right path, given good instructions, commanded to do what is good and forbidden to do what is bad, instilling love for the good and aversion of the bad.
- Another mistake in bringing up children is the prohibition, especially on the part of the mother, to do work that they are quite capable of. Mothers explain it as a manifestation of care and mercy towards them. However, such a manifestation of pity for children deprives them of full participation in family life. Such a child will grow up lazy, carefree, indifferent and passive. Even when he has matured, he will not become an independent person and will always look for someone on whom he can rely.
- Excessive control over the child, especially on the part of a mother, who closely monitors his every movement 24 hours a day, prevents a child from becoming a person. Excessive care will not do him any good; on the contrary it can only harm him. Parents should monitor their child and control him but within reasonable limits.
- One of the most dangerous mistakes parents make is favouring one child over another, whether in gifts, in relationships, in showing love, etc. Parents should be fair to children and not demonstrate preference for one child over another.
- One must not insult children and force them to be silent when they start to say something or make fun of their words. This leads to self-doubt and in the future they will be ashamed to express themselves in front of people. We need to listen to them and explain if they are wrong about something.
- It is categorically improper to commit reproachable acts in front of children, because parents are their main role model. It is easier for parents to educate children through the example of their own behavior than with words, instructions and advice.
- One should not indulge a child and satisfy all of his whims. Otherwise, in order to get something, he will start crying or become hysterical, so that parents immediately respond by giving him whatever it is he asks for. Parents should respond to such behaviour in such a way as to maintain calm and silence.
A child who is allowed to manipulate his parents in order to get what he wants grows up as an egoist, incapable of empathy and not thinking about others. And where there is no empathy, there is no generosity.
