What I should do with my daughter?
What I should do with my daughter?
I am a practicing Muslim. I do not know how to bring up my daughter. She is 14 years old. She always snaps and offends her mother and me. She perfectly understands that her behavior is wrong but still persists in it. Please give me and my daughter some advice about what to do.
From the Standpoint of Religion:
Hysterics are not a rarity at in teenagers. Experts say that it is a result of calcium deficiency in many cases. Calcium is very necessary as your child grows.
In your letter you said, that you pray but mentioned nothing about your daughter. I suppose, she not only misses prayers but does not execute other Islamic norms such as wearing the hijab and etc. Pay attention to statistics: with children who get some Islamic education about their responsibilities and attitudes towards their parents there are usually no problems, and we can only envy such parents. Islam is a medicine from such diseases and bad character. You must try to enroll your daughter in a madrasa. She can study at school and in the madrasa at the same time. You should introduce her to pious women in Islam and you should invite your religious relatives (if you have such) to your house more often.
According to the Sharia, when your child turns 6 or 7 years old, you should start to teach him or her the basic norms of religion: prayer, fasting, hijab, haram, halal and etc.
From the Standpoint of Psychology:
In your case, instilling a love for religion should not be too intrusive, since she is no longer a child and too much pressure can cause a negative reaction.
Follow these recommendations and I hope that is not too late and that soon you will notice that your daughter’s behavior will get better.
Teenagers are characterized by a sense of maturity and a sense that parents do not understand and oppress them. Any criticism may be understood as an attack on her freedom. Change your mode of communication with your daughter to a friendly tone and talk to her as an adult. You do not need to be demanding of your daughter because the result may be a quarrel. It is a time when children try to show to everybody that they are adult with their own opinion.
Give her an opportunity to express her views and then you understand what she really needs. Be a friend for your daughter, otherwise she will not trust you and will hide everything from you, fearing that you will surely misunderstand and condemn her.
