The secret of an ideal relationship
Every person strives for happiness, including happiness and harmony within his family. Therefore, everyone would like to know the secret of an ideal relationship between spouses. But, there is no such secret.
What is an ideal? It is something better, perfect, without flaw and vice. But that is not in the case with the relationships of spouses. It is clear as daylight that two living people, interacting with each other, cannot but make mistakes. Anyway, is there anything perfect in this world? Nothing has ever been and never will be perfect. Only the Creator is ideal, the One who created man. Nobody else and nothing can pretend for the ideal.
So, the relationship between husband and wife will never be perfect. All of us, both women and men, have both pluses and minuses, we have certain embedded qualities, and there is no sense to try to change some of them. Thus, the desire to remake another person is doomed to failure. If we look at intra-family relations through the prism of religion, we will understand that religion teaches us to accept each other as much as we are.
It is religion that teaches us such qualities as real and sincere love, understanding, desire to facilitate, warmth and support. Religion makes us think not only about our wishes and needs. But it teaches us to work on ourselves and our egos. A person should look for the cause of everything that happens in his life, first of all, in himself, not in others. You know it is much easier to blame everything and everyone but not yourself.
There is such a thing as love for the sake of the Almighty. What is this love? It is such love when you do all your actions for the pleasure of the Creator alone. In this case, you will never have a single claim against your husband or your wife. When you do something for the pleasure of the Almighty, you do not expect people to respond with feelings. And do not build your relationship on the principle of barter: you do it to me, I do it to you. When people do not get what they want, they often begin to take revenge, express dissatisfaction, irritation and anger. “What is this? I am so kind and beautiful, and I do everything, why do not they appreciate me?” Females tend to have such kind of thoughts in their mind. And then a wall of misunderstanding, reproaches, claims and insults begins to grow between the husband and wife.
Well, we are not trying once again to shift the entire burden of responsibility for relationships onto women. But according to laws that were not invented by us, the task of a woman is to save her family. The man creates, the woman preserves. Of course, the union of two people is a rather fragile thing. And not everyone manages to keep the peace between the spouses. But how one can save it? Well, try to establish priorities, or spend more time together, or try to have common goals, hobbies and interests.
At the same time, you should understand that sometimes even loving each other is not enough. Often the gap between spouses arises from the grievances and claims that we have already mentioned or from other people’s conversations, idle gossip, and so on. Now, how good it would be if a woman pile up claims and grievances against her husband but would choose a place next to him or behind him against these grievances and claims. And the man will surely appreciate that. Maybe right away, maybe not but over time, he will definitely return you the favour.
Finally, do not choose the enemies of your relationship, rather choose each other.
