The Shadow in the Mirror. How Social Media Teaches Us to Envy
The Shadow in the Mirror. How Social Media Teaches Us to Envy
Imagine that you are scrolling through the feed of your social network. There is an acquaintance posing against a Turkish seaside backdrop, a colleague boasting about a promotion, and an old classmate who just bought an apartment. You put your phone down, but a quiet unease has already settled inside. Sound familiar? This is envy – an emotion that social media has turned into a constant companion for modern humans.
Envy has always existed, but it used to be specific: we might compare ourselves to a neighbor or coworker. Social media, however, has created the illusion of an endless “parade of perfect lives”. We see thousands of people at once: their successes, travels, relationships. Research confirms: the more time a person spends on social media, the higher his level of anxiety and self-dissatisfaction. Scientists from the University of Copenhagen conducted an experiment: one group of users continued actively scrolling, while another took a break. After a week, the life satisfaction level in the second group increased by 18%. Why? They stopped constantly comparing themselves to others.
But why does comparison hurt so much? Psychologists explain: on social media, we do not see reality, but someone else’s “digital performance”. People only show the highlights: happy moments, victories, smiles. The routine, doubts, and failures stay off-camera. A 2022 study published in the Journal of Media Psychology showed that 70% of users admit to specifically choosing only “perfect” shots for their posts. We compare our everyday lives to someone else’s fantasy, and we lose.
Young people are particularly vulnerable. Teenagers, whose identities are still forming, often perceive social media as a life manual. If others have thousands of likes, bright events, and popularity, and you do not, a sense of injustice arises. Scientists have even coined the term “digital envy” – a feeling of annoyance caused by others’ online success. It is dangerous because it pushes towards obsessive behavior: constantly checking for likes, buying unnecessary things “for the photo”, or even depression.
But there is good news: envy can be turned into motivation. Psychologists advise asking a simple question: “What exactly bothered me about this post?” Perhaps you also dream of traveling or changing jobs. Then, you should take it as a signal to act – plan a trip or take a course. The key is to shift the focus from “they have it” to “I can have it”.
What can we do? First, remember: behind every “perfect” account is an ordinary person with the same doubts and problems. Second, limit time on social media to at least 30 minutes a day. And finally, pay more attention to your own life without filters: your morning coffee, walks with friends, small joys.
Envy in the age of social media is the shadow cast by someone else’s light. But it disappears as soon as you turn on your own.
