Superhero husband
Most often, a man tries to quickly find a solution to his wife’s problems when she talks about them. However, in most cases this is not what the wife needs. Sometimes a woman needs a simple understanding from her spouse. Therefore, the best way to interact with a partner is to try to understand how she feels, what caused her emotions, rather than try to immediately solve problems for her.
Sometimes it is important for a woman that her husband just listens to her, pays attention and shows that he is not indifferent. And the problem she’s talking about may not even be a problem at all. Maybe your spouse just needs attention. And she is trying to find a reason to attract a husband.
The husband in his turn, not understanding the situation, immediately begins to solve the “problem” or blames his wife for creating this very “problem” unnecessarily. Know that this is her defensive reaction; she is trying to achieve complete spiritual harmony in her relationship with her husband. The lack of the required level of interconnection between the hearts of the spouses results in the fact that a husband may accuse his wife for overdramatizing, showing emotions, finding fault, making a mountain out of a mole hill, nagging, etc.
Well, the woman is not to blame for this. She was just misunderstood or was not given the attention she expected from her beloved. A sensitive and caring attitude towards a spouse strengthens the connection of hearts and creates a favorable climate in the family. Of course, we are not saying that solving problems is not important, we just do not need to immediately intervene and try to “fix” the situation, as is typical for many men.
When you notice that your spouse is excited, upset, angry or withdrawn, it is important to give her the opportunity to speak out and then it will become clear if she wants to solve some problem or if she needs just to talk about solutions to pressing issues.
In other words, it is about putting in the effort. Do your job and stay consistent in your efforts and you will see an improvement in your relationship.
When husband is not a hero
The situation we described here above may be opposite as well. Some husbands try to make life difficult for their spouse by talking about problems all the time.
Remember: your wife is not your therapist. Of course, it is good and important to share your anxieties, fears and disappointments, no matter if they big or small, with your wife. But she cannot be the only person you turn to for advice.
Try to find a friend or mentor you can lean on. This has the double benefit of being able to see things from different perspectives and developing and strengthening those friendships.
Trusting your partner is a great way to be intimate and feel close, but there is also a fine line between trusting your partner and having your partner become your therapist. Such behavior cannot only quickly tire your wife, whom you have turned into a negative capacitor but also ultimately become a cause of exhaustion and spiritual devastation. It is important that she does not feel like your guardian but a beloved and desired wife, whom her husband saves, protects and solves all problems.
Never fall into both extremes that we have described above. You need to understand that each family is a special and unique universe, which has its own laws.
