It’s time to change yourself!

Many people have heard the cliché that “no one will come and change your life”. Some will say that it is an over used phrase, but it really matters, in particular in our information age.

You know that demand creates supply.

The topic of development, change and personal growth is very relevant today, as people are trying to find their place and engage in self-development. And there are many offers, you know. If you want to raise children you can easily find a special course or you wish to lose weight there is another training course or you want to improve relations with your husband you are immediately offered the thing you need. I think it is very good that today we, Muslim women, have a lot of opportunities to grow in various spheres of life.

But the problem, I think, is how do we take these courses, marathons, trainings. We often greatly exaggerate the importance of the course we are engaged in. There are some people that put all their trust in training courses and hope that they will change them and their lives as well. Poor girls think that everything will improve after finishing some of these courses. Believe me this will not happen until we rise and begin to walk. Neither coach nor super expensive course will change your life until you take it on your own.

Once I observed the following situation: in a classroom course on training online trainers, only 5-10% of people achieved the result (that is, became trainers and continued to gain experience in this business), the remaining 90% did not get along, and they either gave up the education or were passive at the lessons. What does this say? The problem is not in the coach or the training program. And who achieves results? The one who works hard, the one who walks, the one who crawls, the one who runs and the one who moves forward. Have you got it? If you don’t move, don’t work on yourself and just stay sad and feeling sorry for yourself, the result from the course will be zero. Those who moved forward to their goals achieved their desired results even with inexperienced coaches.

If you want changes in life you need to change yourself

What do you face when you try to organize your life? Obviously difficulties and obstacles, such as unwillingness, delay and circumstances.

And now answer yourself honestly: when you confront them what usually wins? Is it you or circumstances or excuses?

The key principle of winners is to move forward. You may crawl or walk or run or even fly. The main thing is to keep going.

You can never get from point A to point B if you do not take steps. It does not matter if you go slowly, or crawl like a snail, or maybe lie on the ground and look towards the goal the destination.

No matter how much we motivate ourselves and say “I can do it”, it will have an effect only when you start the actual doing. Do not take time to dream or think or wait. Just do it.

No matter how much we think about Paradise and want to go there and hope to get at least into a corner, it will be self deception for us, if we remain immersed in illusions and follow our passions. Verily, the pleasure of the Almighty is in submission of our desires and making our nafs follow the orders of the Creator, who urged us to work, to create and to move forward.

Take for your motto “go anyway, under any circumstances and weather”. But how to go on if your child is sick and you have no husband at all or there is one who makes his own demands? And you are pulled at from all the sides: children, parents, work, and everyday life. In such cases some fall into a panic or become nervous. Others sit in depression and do not want anything.

Some tips on what to do

1. Consider your condition. Plan your life based on the load and the condition. First, define the areas of work and do them little by little, no more than 1-2 important affairs a day. Note that usually we pay less attention to selfdevelopment since there is little or no time to concentrate, read and analyse. Therefore, doing at least something is better than doing nothing at all. Remember, one is more than zero.

2. Beaten by apathy or depression? Appetite comes with eating, while strength and energy with moving. Just remember that when you are lazy and have no will and start doing. Do not put it off. Start doing something useful get involved. When you are distracted from your state of mind or circumstances, it allows you to look at the situation a little differently and less painfully.

3. Look for options. If there are circumstances that distract you, do not give up right away and do not throw the plan into a back corner. If you cannot concentrate right now, do it when you have time. You will surely manage to find at least one option on how to do the task.

There is a technique called “rubber bus.” It is named so due to the fact that any crowded bus can accommodate one more person. Imagine that people are standing at a bus stop, waiting for a bus. It drives up but it is almost overcrowded. Several men and women get into the bus, while the rest decide to wait for the next one.

The overcrowded bus is about to leave the bus stop but at that moment someone runs up in a hurry, stops the bus and climbs into the full vehicle; it is not clear how, but he manages to get into it and the bus leaves. Why did he get on the bus while the others decided to stay and wait for another? Well, it may have been because he had an exam or had to take his daughter from the kindergarten or it only 10 minutes was left before the defense of his diploma or maybe his wife was to give a birth.

The point here is that he NEEDS something very much and he finds a way to go! Remember, you can always find one more option to get out of any situation.

4. Trust in the Almighty! The most important thing is to trust that He will help you! You are alive only due to His protection. You have a home, loved ones, food and money only because of His mercy. You achieve all things only because of His help. And He always helps you.

The trials and difficulties we face have a great wisdom in them and they bring us closer to the Almighty. When we prostrate ourselves before the Almighty and ask Him for forgiveness, help and salvation from difficulties, we strengthen our connection with the Creator. The trials in life help to raise piety and sincerity in us as well.

Almighty Allah said in the Koran, “And whoever fears Allah He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” (Sura At Talaq, ayat 2-3).

DEENA FAIZI