Involve Your Spouse in Caring for the Baby
Involve Your Spouse in Caring for the Baby
Perhaps this topic will seem unexpected to some. Indeed, a serious adult man, the head of a family, capable of taking responsibility for his wife and children, takes part in the upbringing of his offspring without waiting for his wife to be forced to involve him in this.
But sometimes it happens that the husband for some reason withdraws himself from helping his wife in this extremely important matter. Let us look at why this happens and what to do about it.
It is not for nothing that men are called the stronger sex: if they are physically stronger than us women, then they are also stronger than small children, and even more so. Therefore, it often happens that the stronger a man is, the more uncertainty he experiences when it is necessary to interact with a baby - a fragile and vulnerable creature. How can a man calculate the force during such contact so as not to cause harm? If a woman in most cases relies on intuition, then this does not always work with a man and a child appears to him as some kind of incomprehensible “thing in itself.” In such a situation, our task is to suggest and show our loved one what to do and how to do it.
Yes, many husbands are ready to help their wife with a child, but they, as a rule, require comprehensive instructions, because the thinking of most men is characterised by rationality. This means that the task must be clearly stated, preferably through a master class. Moreover, instructions should be given not as a mentor, but as a kind loving advisor and friend. Indeed, in a good family, the relationship between wife and husband is built not only on love and respect, but also on strong friendship.
Never forget to praise him! What a wonderful husband and caring father he is, how well he helps the family. For more inspiration and encouragement, you can praise him in front of others and, for this to work, we must praise him sincerely.
What exactly can father do? Almost everything that mother did and in some aspects even more. We need to tell our husbands about this. In particular, it is very important that in the first years of life the baby is often picked up by the father - the feeling of confidence and security of the little person in his adult life depends on this, as psychologists will confirm. It is difficult to overestimate the role of the father in such a matter as the child’s knowledge of the world: who better than the father will tell the child the names of, for example, car parts, repair tools and fishing accessories?
Some of us are convinced that no one can cope with caring for a child better than a woman, which means that it makes no sense to delegate even a part of these tasks to a spouse. This is wrong. A man is just as much a parent as a woman and is just as necessary for his son or daughter. In addition, the image of the father creates in the child’s mind the authority of a strong and wise relative.
A wife should tell her husband more about the baby, about what happened to him while he was at work: the child took the first step, said the first word, his first tooth erupted... Draw your husband’s attention to how the child rejoices at the sight of his father. You can also unobtrusively involve your spouse in discussing issues related to your offspring, for example, where to go for a walk.
Never criticise! If an inexperienced father undertakes to help his wife with regard to the baby and even does this on his own initiative (yes, this does happen), we should rejoice, support, guide and praise him. Inexperience is a temporary phenomenon, which, with the correct behavior of both spouses, is replaced by experience and dexterity.
Sometimes it happens that the mother considers caring for the baby to be exclusively her prerogative, believing that the father a priori will not be able to cope with this extremely difficult task - and indeed his job is to provide for the family. If there is no need to argue with the second, then such a categorical opinion about the first, as a rule, does not have sufficient grounds. The father also has the right to interact with his son or daughter from a very early age, at for at least half an hour a day. And this does not have to be changing diapers or warming up formula – a father’s imagination is enough to have a fun conversation with the baby while mother goes about her business or just takes a nap.
We wish love and understanding to all families.
