MY FIRST USTAZ AND HOW I ENTERED THE TARIQAH

MY FIRST USTAZ AND HOW I ENTERED THE TARIQAH

So, I became a murid. I had never seen the ustaz from Inkho by then. Only in winter, in January, when I came home on leave, did I decide to visit Inkho. At that time you could only get there by a ride on a truck. Passenger cars were scarce, the roads were narrow and the trip seemed real trouble. Besides, I did not know the way. I had to ask passers-by. I got in the back of a truck and asked the driver to stop at Inkho because I had never been there. We arrived at the place at night. I got off and with the help from the locals I found the way to the ustaz. He asked me about my task and told me to continue in the same way. The ustaz then asked who had sent me to him. I said that it was Muhammad-haji but did not guess to say that it was Allah.

Now my heart only aspired to the the Tariqa. I sought nothing else. When I returned from the ustaz, I literally counted the days until our next meeting. We visited the Sheikh only once a year. However, I can say I was mentally with him all the time. Once when we were on the River Terek, the ustaz came to me in a dream, ran his hand over my head: after that I was bored with my job. I had never been in prison. Yet even if I were jailed, I could not have felt worse. If it were possible, I would not have stayed at this job a single day longer. But in winter it was impossible to quit and leave the sheep, because nobody could replace me. The situation was hopeless. So I spent the winter and spring counting the days, as if in prison. And then, when we went up to the mountains, I sold and gave away my flock: none were left. I got a job as a watchman at the hydro power plant. In my spare time I only did Tariqa tasks. Muhammad-haji, may Allah wash off his sins, was very helpful then.

Once I heard, that the ustaz from Inkho had arrived in Khasavyurt. I had not told my wife that I had entered the Tariqa but she guessed it by the changes in me. We went together to Khasavyurt and she also decided to take the Tariqa. We hid where we were going from our parents. We claimed we were going to decorate our new home; I had bought a house in Novy Chirkey.

The ustaz always had nearby a murid from Almak named Abdurashid. He was known as a man blessed by Allah, a ‘senior murid’. He met all the newcomers, took some to the ustaz and heard out others. All the guests first came to him and we did the same. When, after the visit to the ustaz, we were heading home, Abdurashid saw us off. He came up to me and whispered in my ear, “Did you go to your new house?” I was surprised to remember what I had said to my parents when leaving home. Abdurashid almost reached the level of Ustaz.

Once again, when the ustaz was in Khasavyurt, I went to see him alone. I was a beginner murid and was happy to be in the Tariqa. I performed Shazali wird 100 times followed by 500 dhikr. I rejoiced that I could do it. I stress that in this there was only joy, not pride. And when I came to the ustaz and entered his yard, he came to meet me, greeted me and said, my hand in his, “It turned out that Humayd-afandi (may Allah bless his soul) performed dhikr 30,000 times, although he was so weak from severe illness and old age, that he had to sit and rest three times while returning from the mosque.” Hearing this was such an embarrassment. Even now I feel ashamed. That is how amazing a person he was.

In the old days murids were fewer. We heard that they performed khatmu salawat in Inkho and that the ustaz also used to be there. We went there a few times, the deceased Alil-Abdurahman, Muhammad-haji, Isa-haji and I. Once we decided that it was impolite that all four of us should travel there together, so we split into two groups. Isa-haji and I went through Khasavyurt and Abdurahman and Muhammadhaji through Buinaksk. The Harib pass was then closed and we had a very difficult time getting to Inkho through Shali. It was a hard time, but the Tariqa was much more valued then. Murids had close ties and mutually supported and assisted one another. The collapse of the country had demoralised society; the social order was destroyed. Murids have become weak too. They have no such love as before, they are too much into the worldly.

So, this is all I can tell you about the ustaz of Inkho. I cannot assess his role. Yet I was sure about one thing: I always had the strength and support of ustazes. I knew it, I felt it by all signs, although they were not in overt, bodily form. Everything went easily and I had no doubt that they were with me, because I felt their support. In the Tariqa everything depends on your faith. Faith and love are foremost. If you have both these qualities, they bring the rest. This is proven and there is no doubt.

Muhammad-haji’s first ustaz was Hamzat Afandi (may Allah bless his soul) from Tlyakh. But then Hamzat Afandi and his house fell under the surveillance of the security forces. However, the ustaz of Inkho could safely go to Khasavyurt. He did not have such problems, so Muhammad-haji started going to Inkho. He often invited me to visit Hamzat Afandi but I had heard from Abdurashid that you need the permission of your ustaz to go to another ustaz. I remembered this, but at the same time was embarrassed to refuse point blank. I said nothing to Muhammad-haji’s invitation and never saw Hamzat Afandi. He soon left this world.

Ustazes consulted Muhammad Arif Afandi (may Allah bless his soul) on many issues. Abdurashid said that once Hamzat Afandi called him and said, “Go and tell my words to Muhammad Arif: I know that a murid, exploring the ways of Allah for the sake of Allah, can reach an ustaz even through the roof, no matter what, breaking it if necessary. Yet you can hardly find someone on the path for the sake of Allah; only one in a hundred. What should I do with the newcomers: send them back or accept them?” Then Hamzat-afandi added, “Just ask and do not wait for the answer.” I just said it and when I came to the words “only one in a hundred”, Muhammad Arif interrupted, “Oh my son, not one in a hundred, but one in a thousand.”

Most important for murids is compliance with ethics (adab). The newcomer murids today often know a lot they have not yet reached in the Tariqa, up to muraqaba. Of course, the more curious you are, the more you know. But you cannot grow in the Tariqa like this. A murid cannot do something different from that which his ustaz has assigned him. Many do things they have not been taught. They rush ahead.

At the time when I did not study and did not even think about it, Abdurashid gave me a book and said, “Copy it, it may be useful to you in the future.” I copied it, unaware of what it was. It turns out to be muraqaba. I was still a newcomer murid. After a time the ustaz from Inkho left this world. I went to the ustaz (Sheikh Meselasul Muhammad Afandi) of Nechaevka, and he gave me the Naqshbandi Tariqa, taught me muraqaba and ma’iyat. When performing ma’iyat, I remembered that it reminded me of Abdurashid’s book. Until then I had not even read it, as I did not need it. I was curious to see what happens after ma'iyat. But when I opened the book, I suddenly thought, “Why am I looking at these things, which I have not been assigned. It is not my business”, and I closed it. Although I was curious, I overcame my curiosity and did not peep. It turned out that I did the right thing. A murid must be zealous about his own task. He must not rush to things. Today, even beginners want to know about lata’if and muraqaba no less than I do but they need to work on their task and nothing beyond that. It is better for them.

Source: Islam.ru.en