Duties of Spouses

There are natural differences between a man and a woman that affect their roles in life together. Therefore, spouses must respect and honour each other’s rights that God has given them. It is reported that the Prophet ﷺ said, “This world is given for a temporary period, and the best thing that can be obtained in this world is a righteous wife.” (Narrated by Muslim).

Duties of a Husband

At the time of the Nikah (marriage contract) or later, the man must give his wife a mahr (gift).

It is narrated from Aisha that the Messenger of God ﷺ said, “Blessed is the woman whose engagement was easy, whose mahr was small, and who conceives quickly.” (Ahmad, Ibn Majah).

The husband should patiently bear the insults, the obstinate nature of the wife and be indulgent towards her when she is angry. After all, it may happen that the woman is overcome by anger and, under the influence of irritation, she begins to distance herself from her husband. In such cases, the husband should show patience and meekness towards his wife, demonstrating an understanding of the essence of a woman’s nature, her character.

In one of the many hadiths on this matter, the Prophet ﷺ said: “The best of you are those who treat their wives best. And I am the best of you in relation to my wives.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi).

The husband is obliged to support his wife. He must provide her with sufficient food, clothing, etc. These rights of the wife must be satisfied without excesses, but also without stinginess. The hadith of the Messenger of God ﷺ says: “If a man spends money on his family for the sake of God ﷻ (in addition to the obligatory expenses), then it is counted as charity for him.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim).

A wife has the right to go to work, but subject to certain conditions:

Permission from her husband.
Not to be with other men at the place of her work and never be alone with them in room.
The work should correspond to the status of the woman. For example, she can be a doctor, sew, teach, etc. She should not do hard male labour. The wife has the right to complete financial independence, that is, she has the right to spend her money on her own needs, at her own discretion. The husband is forbidden to take her money without permission.

The husband should give his wife the necessary religious knowledge or allow her to visit those places where she can get it. He must do everything he can to ensure that she observes the norms of religion (performs prayer, fasts during Ramadan, etc.).

If a man has taken more than one wife, he must treat them all fairly and not give preference to one of them when distributing his attention or caring for their needs. The Prophet ﷺ said in a hadith, “If a man who has two wives pays more attention to one than to the other, he will be resurrected on the Day of Judgement crooked.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud).

If he does not love his wife, he should not oppress her, torture her, show disgust towards her or instill a feeling of insecurity and uncertainty.

The Prophet ﷺ said in a hadith, “Let no believing man harbour hatred towards his wife, for if you do not like any of her behavior, then be content with another good quality of hers.” (Narrated by Muslim).

Duties of a Wife

First of all, a wife must recognize that her husband’s rights are higher than the rights of her relatives. Aisha once asked the Messenger of God ﷺ, “Who is the closest person to a woman?” The Prophet ﷺ replied, “Her husband.” Then she asked, “Who is the closest person to a man?” The Prophet ﷺ replied, “His mother.” (Narrated by Al-Bazzar).

A wife must be submissive to her husband, except when he commands her to do something that is prohibited by religion. The Prophet ﷺ said, “If a woman performs five prayers a day, fasts during the month of Ramadan, protects her body from a strange man and is submissive to her husband, then she will enter the Paradise of her Lord.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibban).

The wife must be ready to satisfy her husband’s physiological needs at any time, except for the days of the menstrual cycle and postpartum purification or illness. The wife is not allowed to refuse her husband to fulfill his duties in bed.

The Prophet ﷺ said, “If a husband invites his wife to bed and she refuses him, then the angels will curse her until the morning, because he is angry with her.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim). The wife’s failure to fulfill her marital duties and ignoring her husband’s rights to intimacy often causes divorce and discord in the family. Therefore, she should try to be attractive and desirable, responsive and active in this regard.

A wife is not allowed to observe a desirable (sunna) fast without her husband’s permission, because he will not be able to enjoy her when she fasts. This is the case when the husband is nearby, in the settlement. If the husband is far away, then the woman can observe the sunna fast without waiting for his permission. In this regard, the Prophet ﷺ said, “A woman cannot observe a voluntary fast in the presence of her husband without his permission.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari).

The wife is responsible for the house and property of her husband, and therefore she is forbidden to give anything significant from her husband’s house without his consent, even to her relatives, but the wife is allowed to give something insignificant from the house if she knows in advance that her husband will not object to this.

She is forbidden to independently meet her husband’s friends, introduce herself to them, be alone with a strange man and also receive anyone in her husband’s house in his absence.

Without her husband’s permission, the wife does not have the right to leave the house. But the husband should not forbid her to go out for her needs or visit relatives if there is no fear for her honour, that she will be tempted, etc.

A woman must protect herself from prying eyes, hide parts of her body from strange men and not wear clothes that do not correspond to religious norms.
After a wife does something that will cause her husband’s anger, she must hasten to have her husband forgive her.

Duties of Spouses