Mother deserves a good relationship more than a father: why?
They say that honouring parents, showing respect and a kind attitude towards them is one of the types of worship.
Obedience to parents in everything that does not contradict religious norms is one of the duties that the Almighty has placed on children.
The Lord connected His contentment with the slave with the contentment of his parents. In the Holy Koran, honouring parents is associated with worshiping only Almighty Allah and gratitude to them is associated with gratitude to Him. After all, honouring parents and showing beneficence and mercy towards them are considered one of the best deeds of a person.
In the Holy Koran the Almighty said (the meaning of the commentary), “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say (even) “ugh”to them nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.” (Sura Al-Isra, ayah 23).
Almighty Allah gave the mother superiority over the father. The mother, more than anyone, deserves the good attitude of her children, because she gives them what no one else can give. The mother carries the fetus in her womb for months, then, experiencing unbearable pain, gives birth to a child. After that she breastfeeds, and then feeds her baby with other food, and so she takes care of him until he grows up. And only when the child grows up, does he see his father in front of him, who provides him with everything he needs.
Having matured a little, the child sees that his father fulfills his desires, buys what he needs, and then he begins to feel the superiority of his father over his mother. However, the work of the mother and her care for the child is many times greater than what the father is to gives him.
The Almighty ordered us to honour both parents but paid special and separate attention to the mother.
From Abu Huraira (may God be pleased with him) it is transmitted that once a man came to the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked, “O Messenger of God, which of the people is most worthy of a good attitude?” To which he replied, “Your mother.” This man again asked, “And who then?” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) repeated, “Your mother.” The man asked again, “And who then?” The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time: “And who then?” And then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him, “Your father”. (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Muslim).
This hadith indicates that love and compassion for the mother should be much stronger than for the father. Moreover, most scholars, based on this hadith, argue that the mother deserves three times more kindness than the father, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned the mother thrice and the father only once.
Imam al-Nawawi, commenting on this hadith in his book “Al-Minhaj sharh Sahih Muslim bin al-Hajjaj”, writes the following, “In this hadith there is an incentive to do good towards relatives and an indication that a mother most of all deserves a good attitude and, after her, the father, and then the one who is closest among relatives.
Scientists believe that the reason for the mother’s priority is the many difficulties that she endures because of the child, her deep compassion for him, caring for him and the torment that she endures while bearing him, then during childbirth, then during breastfeeding, upbringing, care during illness, etc.”
Sheikh al-Islam ibn Hajar al-Asqalani in his book “Fath al-Bari sharh Sahih al-Bukhari” in the comments to this hadith narrates the words of Ibn Battal, “According to this hadith, the mother deserves three times more kindness than the father. This is because of the burdens of childbirth, pregnancy, breastfeeding and all the torment that only a mother experiences. Only after the completion of these periods does the father begin to participate in the upbringing of the child.”
Imam al-Qurtubi in his book “Al-Jami fi ahkam al-Quran” writes about this that al-Muhasibi in his book “Kitab al-Riaya” states that there is no disagreement among scholars that the mother deserves three quarters of good relationship, and the father only one quarter, as required by the hadith transmitted from Abu Huraira (may God be pleased with him).
From all of the above, we understand that the moral duty to the mother is many times greater than the duty to the father. Therefore, every person should obey his mother and show love and care for her at least three times more than for his father.
