Make friends quickly!
Make friends quickly!
Having quarreled with a loved one, many of us become isolated and put off the process of reconciliation.
Unpleasant emotions weigh heavily on the heart, our nerves are tense and we cannot concentrate on anything. What is better: go to bed and put off reconciliation until the morning or try to find a way to resolve the conflict without waiting for a new day? Let us figure out what to do when faced with such a difficult choice.
Doctor of Philosophy and behavioral analyst Wendy Patrick advises not to delay reconciliation - and especially not to put off this important process until tomorrow. Often, a conflict unresolved in the evening becomes the cause of sleep disturbances and large jumps in cortisol the next morning. Excess cortisol, nicknamed by scientists the “hormone of death,” causes an increase in blood pressure and blood sugar and leads to accelerated aging of cells.
Waking up in the morning with the thought that the quarrel with the other half has not been resolved, we feel a loss of strength and anxiety; as a result, the whole day can go by in vain and by the evening there is simply no strength left to resolve the conflict. Psychologists advise not to allow such a scenario to develop but to try “to raise the white flag” the day before.
- When trying to resolve a conflict, watch your tone and intonation. Our calmness, even voice and respectful address to our partner will help cool the heat of a quarrel and open the way to peace.
- Many of us, having set ourselves up for reconciliation, during a conversation suddenly begin to remember past grievances and discuss sensitive topics, and, as a result, the situation only gets worse. Your spouse must understand that when you try to conduct a dialogue with him, you do not want the conflict to continue, but, on the contrary, you are looking for a way to solve the problem. Hug your husband, take his hand: physical contact helps you calm down and feel a sense of community with your loved one.
- To avoid misunderstandings in the future, try to understand the reason for the quarrel. To do this, put yourself in the place of your other half. Analyse how the situation looks from the outside. Think about your motives; what exactly caused negative emotions in you. You need to soberly assess your spouse’s feelings, thoughts and desires; he has the right to look at many things differently. We often quarrel due to lack of love. Men rarely understand hints, so it is important to tell your husband about this directly. Attention, support and time spent just the two of you: all this is necessary for harmony in marriage. Anxiety and accumulated fatigue can cause frequent conflicts. In this case, a loving husband and wife must find a way to help each other relax and take a little rest in this endless race called ‘life.’
In conclusion, let us recall the famous Arabic proverb: “A wise woman adds sugar to everything she says to a man and removes salt from what he says to her.”
