Never say these words to a loved one
Every human being has his own flaws. That is why from time to time we have quarrels and small clashes. Even between spouses. And that is the norm.
However, when in conflict, the main thing for a husband and wife is not to forget that they love each other, and, no matter how difficult it may be, they should watch what they say, so as not to hurt a spouse. Remember that your harsh words may undermine the trust and intimacy between two of you. In this article I would like to remind the readers of three “hazardous” phrases that we should under no circumstances say to those we love.
1. Words that destroy affection
As the famous psychotherapist Vladimir Levi wrote, love is alive by faith in its exclusivity. Every person hopes that he occupies a special, an exclusive place in the heart of his “soul mate”, and that nothing can happen or threaten to your affairs. This is a guarantee of trust, tenderness and sincerity. But there are such words that threaten our uniqueness and undermine relationships. “I don’t need you”, “Do you think I’ll cry for you?”, “If you get fat, I’ll find some slim young girl”, “What a mistake I made that I married you!” – these kind of phrases we may hear in everyday life. Note that they always give rise to pain, distrust and fear.
2. Words that devalue a spouse
One of the basic needs in a relationship is to share emotions with your husband or wife, and to understand that they hear you and feel sympathy for you. When we quarrel with family members, we often begin to devalue their emotions. If this happens all the time, then our loved ones begin to experience loneliness, feel themselves insignificant and unnecessary to anyone. Thus never say these phrases: “You are not capable of anything!”, “What are you tired of? You call it work”, “You think you’ve got a cold and that’s going to make you lie down all day?”, “No one cares what you think”, “I was just joking, don’t take offense at once!” etc.
When our husband expresses his dissatisfaction or sadness, we often do not know how to properly respond to it. In this case, the best way is to speak frankly: “It is hard for me to understand the reason for your discontent. I don't know how I should react.” In building relationships, both partners will inevitably face each other's emotions, which cannot only be positive. Try not to disvalue the significance of your loved one’s experiences: listen to him, and then you will receive the same attitude from him when you are overcome by anxiety and sadness.
3. Insulting words
Another basis for healthy family relationships is the feeling of being valuable, loved, and needed. It is very painful to hear insults even from a stranger. And when the most dear and beloved person for us does it, it simply destroys us from the inside. “You are sick all over”, “Are you fool? Don’t you have any brains?”, “Who cleans up like that, you’re so dirty!”, “You can't be trusted with anything!”
This list of words hurting the soul of a spouse can be continued for a very long time. It's okay to have negative emotions towards each other. But we must learn to express them correctly, without hurting our loved ones. For example, saying, “It hurts me so much that you never pick up the phone when I call you.” Love is a fragile flower. Take care of each other so that it blooms and grows stronger.
SAFIYA FOKINA
