Who is bringing up our children?
During Soviet times we had a single ideology in our country. Parents were not concerned about the upbringing of their children; they trusted it to school or kindergarten where young boys and girls got a proper and common education. But who is raising our children nowadays?
As a parent, I take care of the upbringing of my only child. As a teacher, I communicate with many children, as well as their parents, and I know the environment in which most of children are raised. And now I would like to share my conclusions.
It was obvious that in a country with a single ideology, a common orientation towards the cultivation of conscientiousness, diligence, responsibility and discipline, entrusting a baby to a kindergarten, school, club or even television in principle be safe. At that time socialization, that is necessary for a little child, served its very purpose and helped to foster a decent citizen of the country. That is why Soviet people are often characterized as those with honour, conscience, a sense of shame and morality.
Today we live in an absolutely different system. Modern society has to put up with liberal tolerance that encourages the acceptance of a person whatever he may be and not imposing common standards for everyone. What does this mean?
It means that we have to accept pop culture, emo, goths, etc. We have lost common programmes of education; TV censorship is also gradually disappearing. Moreover, the cartoons children usually watch on YouTube are most likely not to satisfy their parents.
And now we get to the point. All of us want to bring up grateful, responsive and careful children. So should we start to impart these qualities from childhood? Of course, we should, if we want to succeed. The next question is when and how much time should we dedicate to the upbringing of our children? Is it enough to talk to a child only in the evening when a parent comes from work?
Let’s consider the case of a third-grade girl whose parents are both full-time workers. How do young children live their lives and what do they feel?
1. Morning. Nervous parents get ready for work in a hurry. They are a little angry with themselves, and a little at each other, and each of them pressures their daughter.
As a result the little girl starts to think that studying is only a duty - “This is what my parents need, not me.”
2. Midday. The lessons are over and children return home walking and chatting with each other. At home the girl has to do her home-task that is another duty. After it, the grandmother allows her to walk or play on the phone or watch TV. That is her daily routine.
In general, the outcome is favourable as the child is under supervision, and there is nothing to worry about. However, “if there is a gap, something will fill it”, and if you do not inspire a heart with something useful, it will be filled with anything useless.
For example, most girls nowadays dream to be cool like the singer Rihanna or the girls dancing hip hop in the Gloria Jeans ad. It is as though they follow the motto - “no matter how, try to be popular as much as you can.”
3. In the evening parents return home. They are usually tired and unable to talk with the child heart-to-heart. They spend the remaining time on household chores and the day is over.
In fact, at first glance, this is not so bad when it happens in a single day. The thing that makes us worry is that day after day a whole generation is being brought up by TV and the Internet. And it’s not because children become fans of Rihanna or Britney Spears; we all went through this when we were young. But let us think for a moment about the message that modern culture, pop music and movies do bring to the young generation nothing more than naked aggression, outrageous style of behavior and passion. The latter is raised to the rank of a universal ideal which is “Find your passion and pursue it.” In addition, the message of most Hollywood movies is “There is no life without love.”
Every day some try to encourage our children “to listen to their hearts for it is the surest way.” Whereas the Almighty Allah conveyed in the Holy Quran: “But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you.” As you see the meaning of this verse is quite opposite to the ideals that are being imposed on modern youth.
Will our children manage to understand this and behave accordingly? Will a child be able to realize his or her responsibility to their parents, if every day he or she is in contact with a myriad of colorful examples of egoism when the only things mother and father are interested in are the marks they get at school and dishes being washed?
Everyone knows how to teach children proper behavior and everyone wants them to be strength and support for a family. However, trusting the upbringing of our child to TV and the Internet, we run the risk of getting a completely unexpected and undesired result.
SAMIRA BATIEVA
