Ten steps on how to give up forbidden relationships
Now let us figure it out together. Your relationship with that girl or guy was not the best thing in your life.
You know it was a mistake, you want to leave it all behind and live a normal life but it is all so difficult, and besides, no one understands you.
God willing, everything will work out. I have heard similar stories time and again, especially when talking to young people. Perhaps this sin is the only one that is extremely difficult to convince someone to give up. I even knew a man who renounced religion for a girl. This happens because it is the devil’s last arrow, aimed at a believer and it is incredibly effective. Therefore, we need concrete, practical ways to overcome this situation.
The very fact that you are reading this article is already a step in the right direction. Perhaps all of this seems impossible to you now but you will overcome it. After all, Allah says (the meaning of the commentary), “…Whoever fears Allah, He will give him a way out (from the doubts of this world and from the punishment of the Day of Judgment). [Allah will give him a way out.] And He will provide for him from where he never imagines [it]. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, He will be sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah completes everything (what He wills to do). Allah has ordained for everything (for every creation) a measure (predetermined everything even before its creation).” (Sura At-Talaq, ayat 2-3).
Perhaps you think that ending a relationship is not as easy as they say. Especially considering that Satan spends days and nights trying to make you taste the forbidden fruit. He convinces you that lust is love, quickening your heartbeat whenever you see a certain person’s name: in an email, on your phone or on social media.
Here below we will present practical steps to ending a forbidden relationship.
- Cut off the relationship completely
Enough playing around. Stop taking “mini-steps”, take one big step and end it. If you think you will cut off contact “little by little”, forget it. Trying to replace regular meetings with phone conversations and short coffee breaks will not lead to anything good. It simply does not work. Your first step is to cut off the relationship completely. Ultimately, this is the only effective step you need to take. Everything else below is just an explanation of how to cope after this step.
Delete all emails, text messages, voicemails, phone numbers and anything else that reminds you of this person. As much as possible, avoid situations where you might encounter them. No conversations, especially in private. Do not try to find out how they are doing. Stop following them on social media and cut off all other contact.
- Do not ask unnecessary questions
Stop wondering what that person is thinking about you right now. And do not give that person the opportunity to let you know. Let more important things occupy your thoughts. Supplicate to the Almighty, open your soul to Him, tell Him how you feel, how ashamed you are before Him, repent and, if you want, cry. Do everything to get closer to Him. If you have not performed tahajjud (night prayers) before, start taking small steps towards it. The doors of mercy and forgiveness are always open with Allah.
Do not spend an hour thinking of that person before bed. Instead, read a book. Consider that this person is doing just fine without you and perhaps they will feel the same way about you.
To be continued…
