Backbiting: a favorite pastime

Backbiting is such a common evil that even if the whole world was destroyed and three persons luckily survived, two would move to one side and backbite about the third.

Backbiting is perhaps the most frequently committed sin of the tongue. Regardless of the fact that Islam defines backbiting as though it were eating a dead brother’s flesh, still it is everyone’s favorite pastime at homes, clubs, parks, weddings, offices and shops even funerals and graveyards are not safe.

Often we indulge in a discussion and somehow end up speaking about someone who is not present among us. It is almost unavoidable as conversation seems less interesting without backbiting.

Backbiting is to speak ill about a person behind his back, commenting on matters of his ethics, activities, appearance or character. Backbiting is not only restricted to words but all sorts of behavior and actions as well, whether they be direct or indirect.

Finding faults in others is the easiest thing in the world. The habit of faultfinding and bad mouthing has become so common that even the sense of its sinfulness and wickedness has vanished.

Apparently the worst of all sins are those that are greatest in their harm and danger to humanity. Among the destructive and harmful of major sins are backbiting and slandering. These two sins are forbidden by Allah because they spread hate and evil; they create conflict among people and lead to destruction. They cause hostility between family, friends, neighbours and relatives.

The Holy Koran says, “O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of one’s brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is accepting of repentance and Merciful.” (Sura Al Hujurat, ayat 12)

Almost all of us are aware that backbiting is a sin. Yet we often indulge in it. It was believed that only women were guiltier of it. However, most men also indulge in backbiting and gossip. There can be a myriad of reasons behind badmouthing, including inferiority complexes, weakness, cowardice, frustration, bitterness, jealousy and so on.

The tongue, though very small in size, holds great importance in our life. In fact, social matters related to morals and ethics are mainly related to the tongue.

All our good and bad behaviour are mostly miracles of the tongue, while telling lies, abuse, slander, backbiting, gossip and all other social evils are concerned with this tiny piece of flesh.

Buddha, the great thinker and philosopher said, “The tongue is like a sharp knife, it kills without drawing blood.”

In fact, saying anything about a person in his absence which he would hate to have mentioned or discussed, whether regarding physical appearance, wealth, worldly affairs, wife, children, manner of speech, style of walking, the same whether mentioned verbally or through writing, or whether you point to or indicate him by gesturing with the eyes, hand or head are all backbiting.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) once asked his followers, “Do you know what backbiting is?”

They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.”

He (peace and blessings be upon him) continued, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.”

Someone then asked, “What if what I say about my brother is true?”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) responded, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.”

Since we all known that whoever safeguards his tongue will make fewer mistakes and will be in control of himself and avoid doing wrong. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guaranteed Paradise for one who guards his tongue. He is reported to have said, “Whoever gives me surety to safeguard what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee for him (entrance into) Paradise.”

In fact, backbiting plants the poisonous seeds of hatred among people. In so many cases backbiting has caused serious problems and unwanted tragedies.

Allah the Almighty has warned us in the Holy Koran, “And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart all about these will be questioned.” (Sura Al Isra, ayat 36).

Perhaps backbiting has become a matter of gathering of people and a way to express their anger, doubts and jealousy. Those who indulge in backbiting, in fact, try to hide their own faults and harm others. They are unaware of the fact that they are only harming themselves.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) once gave guidance to Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him), saying, “O Abu Dharr! Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is graver than adultery (zina).”

Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “Why is that so, O Messenger of Allah?”

He (peace and blessings be upon him) replied, “This is because when a man commits adultery and then repents to Allah, Allah accepts his repentance. However, backbiting is not forgiven until it is forgiven by its victim.”

Nowadays people have discovered a new way of enjoyment by joking and making fun of others, which is another form of backbiting; this can involve mockery and sarcasm.

Before we laugh and make fun of others, we must remind ourselves of what Almighty Allah has voiced for us in the Holy Koran, “O you who have believed, let not people ridicule [other] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent then it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (Sura Al Hujurat, ayat 11).

Hence badmouthing and slandering constitute one of the severe social evils of today. It is one of the most destructive elements, destroys social structure and spoiling social affairs. When ill speech is grasped by the one about whom it is said, it hurts him and arises in him feelings of hatred, suspicion and disgust.

The teachings of Islam are peace, harmony, love and kindness. Therefore, suspicion, lying, backbiting, slander and gossip are completely against the ethics of Islam. There should be respect for the honour, prestige and privacy of others. These are the foundations upon which the complete fabric of the social system is integrated.

Therefore, we must perceive in every human being only that which is worthy of praise. One must be honest, humble and respectful towards the whole human race and avoid polluting our tongues by speaking evil, criticizing, mocking and insulting others.

The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have told his companions (may Allah be pleased with them) that the first thing to suffer punishment in hell will be the tongue. Thus we must guard our tongues and avoid things that have been prohibited in Islam. We all must use our tongues in a manner that is pleasing to Allah and must try to either speak well or keep silent.

MARYAM HEDAYAT