The thing which is needed by both parent and child: parental prayer
The thing which is needed by both parent and child: parental prayer
It is well known that parental prayer is very important. It is the door to God’s pleasure. Well, who will be able to open it?
When the matter of parental dua (prayer) comes up, it primarily concerns their children - no matter what age they are. They say, be good, and your parents will make you good duas! Of course, this is all true. And may these duas be accepted. Amin.
The only thing I want to ask is: what about the parents? Is their dua a reaction to their children’s behavior and nothing more?
“Parent – child”
Any relationship is a dialogue of souls. And the “parent – child” pair is no exception. The parent is in the lead here. Of course, the child also expresses himself. But the parent sets the style of the relationship. From the very beginning, the dialogue can be based on love, understanding or on dictatorship, pretense...
There are many options - the result is the same: the style of your relationship with the child eventually turns into the style of his relationship with you. There may be no “mirroring”. But in essence, this will be what the child once received from you. His rudeness can reflect your lack of restraint, laziness - your inertia, etc.
Probably, not everything is clear-cut and the child’s individuality, for its part, also affects family relationships. And yet, no one has cancelled the “what goes around, comes around” pattern. And we parents often forget about it. Perhaps that is why unpleasant behavior of children causes discontent or even resentment in us.
What should I give you?
At first, it may seem that parental duas are our gift to our children. We are so generous - we wish our children well, we ask the Creator for this. And if we do not make dua, then the children themselves are to blame, they do not deserve it!
Let us rewind the tape. We happily read good duas concerning our children when they please us. Nevertheless, if they do not please us, they have not stopped being our children. But how many parents continue their prayers for them? Alas, anger and frustration intervene here…
However, destructive emotions can be avoided (or weakened) if we remember that prayer is not a gift to our children, but a part of our worship of the Almighty. A part that requires special work. Because when the nafs (ego) is offended, we need to step over it. This is always difficult. However, is there anything worthwhile in life that is “without difficulties”?
Your conscious choice
And now one small study will make your duas to children constant and unconditional, if God wills.
So, imagine that after a quarrel with our children, we found the strength to ask Allah to be pleased with them. What happens?
Firstly, we worship the Creator and on the Day of Judgement this can make the good deeds on our Scales heavier.
Secondly, we realize that the child’s bad behavior is a test for us from the Almighty and, therefore, we rely on Him to resolve the conflict.
Thirdly, we hope that our children will achieve a purity of spirit, which will please Allah (and us even more so!).
Fourthly, we recognize that only Allah can raise children correctly and that without His help we cannot do this. (Otherwise, no one would have problems with children.)
And, fifthly, at the moment of prayer, we forgive the child who angered us, and again begin to feel love for him. This is life-giving for both of us.
Prayer probably has more than one such effect.
Try to make it permanent! After all, in the “parent – child” pair, you are the elder for the rest of your life. You are responsible: in this world - for the child, in the next – for your parenthood. Therefore, try to resolve issues correctly, i.e. turning to Allah in any case. This is the only reasonable and effective way.
It is known that there is no curtain between parental prayers and their acceptance, if God wills. May the Merciful help open the door to His pleasure for you and your children! Amin.
