Help is a responsibility
Help from others comes in different ways. Some offer it themselves. Someone has to be asked - openly or hinting... We ourselves are either in a hurry to provide support or do not realize its need until we are called.
“Do not ask mercy from the evil or help from the stingy!”
A common situation is when a person wants help from people and hopes that it will be useful to him. To achieve both, it is worth thinking about the following - about the ‘image loss of image’.
When a person asks for help, he demonstrates his vulnerability. Moreover, some people may get the impression that he is weak not only in the issue in which he seeks support but in all others. In other words, the one asking must remember the so-called ‘image loss of image’ that may lie in wait for him.
Needless to say, there are complicated circumstances such as when a person does not care about his image and he is ready to call the whole world for help... But if everything is not so difficult, then perhaps it is worth trying to solve the problem on your own? And to turn to people not first but last - when it was not possible to achieve a result after working through possible options?
Inner growth occurs through independent overcoming (with trust in the Almighty) of difficult or confusing situations. It is dangerous to get used to constantly waiting or asking for help from people. This reinforces the position of dependent. Although it seems convenient, in fact it is untenable, because other people begin to manage a person’s life - not the person himself...
Whom to ask
In life, the primary thing is to turn to the Creator for help. It is He who knows our problem completely and only He can truly solve it. Having oriented the soul in this way, one can turn to people.
The Almighty has established a certain order in earthly life: we participate in people’s situations and people in ours. However, one should not turn to just anyone. A person needs to be selective about whom he lets into his life as an assistant.
Let it be a person who will not blab about one’s situation, who really understands the issue and, finally, leads such a lifestyle that he will help without going beyond the boundaries of Divine Laws. Otherwise, his ‘help’, although it will seem worthwhile, in fact is an aggravation of the problem.
On the situation of another person
When intending to ask someone for support, one should pay attention to what is happening in that person’s life. Perhaps he himself is having a hard time now and our request will be completely inappropriate. If so, and we are forced to cancel our ‘help me’, then we will not swear and get angry.
It is not easy to stay calm here. But let us think: maybe the Almighty, by blocking access to that person, makes it clear that we can handle it ourselves? He will support and we will overcome?
“He who helped once, helped twice!”
There are fundamental moments in a situation when we are asked for help. Of course, we would like to do everything properly. In other words, to support the person but not to harm ourselves. To do this, it is necessary to help - but not always.
One should only help someone in matters not related to violations of Divine and human laws. This is the principle of safety in both worlds, for both parties: the one waiting for help and the one providing it.
To help sincerely and immediately
Help is responsibility. One should weigh up whether he has a good grasp of the issue, whether he will harm with his intervention. If one is not sure, then it is better to politely refuse, offer another way to solve or find help.
If our experience or competence allows us to help, then we must do it in the Name of the Creator and at the first opportunity. Such sincere and immediate participation will support the person, first of all morally, will show that he is not left alone with his difficulty. And this is no less important than the real solution to his problem, in which we have undertaken to help him.
Help without pride
We should provide help modestly. Namely, we should understand that we are not stronger than the one who turned to us. Well, maybe only in his particular issue. And not because of our merits, but because the Almighty gave us more experience and understanding.
In addition, the person turned to us not because of our exclusivity. After all, there are many who understand the topic better than us. It is just that today we happened to be next to the one asking.
Moreover, we cannot allow our ego to think that after providing help, we will gain power over that person. No. Power over him, as over us, only belongs to the Creator.
It is necessary to help tactfully. One needy person came to the Caliph Ali Ibn Abu Talib to ask for help. The Caliph told him, “Put your request in writing, so that you will not be ashamed and preserve your dignity.”
Know why to help
We should not expect that the person will thank us and necessarily accept the help that we can give him. And even more so not to be offended in case of his refusal. Let us leave him the right of choice, which he received from the Almighty at birth.
We see our help not as an end in itself but as worship of the Creator. And we answer the one asking not for self-affirmation but again for His sake. Is that not right?
